To whom it may concern:
I have six, wild,
rambunctious airship captains constantly using my house as a rest stop
on their journeys. It is becoming most disturbing to my busy schedule.
Do you have any suggestions on how to either drive them out, or make
such an arrangement more livable?
Many thanks,
E.R.M.
1. On the subject of driving them out, perhaps just stop feeding them? I doubt that they would stay if you didn't feed them.
2. To drive them out, you could simply tell them that there's a house a couple miles down the airlane that has treasure.
3. Cut their anchor cables.
4. More liveable? Put a dock on top of your house. I imagine the anchors have been tearing your garden to shreds. If you give them something to moor on, then they won't drop anchor and destroy anything.
5. If all else fails, there's always dynamite. :D
Make sure you aren't being rude, but definitely be firm. This is your life, you don't need it interrupted so often.
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